Monday, September 23, 2013

Hey there . . .

 I'm still around, and I'm even smiling now.  Been busy juggling lots of things and there's a very bright light now at the end of the tunnel.  I'm not looking quite so old now either, courtesy of a few good nights sleeps. 

I love this time of the year.  Spring is always a good time to get you out of your funk and start looking ahead for longer warmer days.

It means you can come home from work, can relax and enjoy the sunshine, get your second wind instead of coming home when it's cold, dark and miserable, have dinner, and feel like the day's almost over.

 And this weekend it gets kickstarted when daylight saving begins.  I'm also predicting a warm sunny weekend.

Oops time for another haircut.  It's growing so fast.

Hopefully I will be back to more regular blogging now that things are finally starting to settle back to normal. 

Had a catch up with Jackie the other day which was nice and something we should do more often, without the guys.  Shame about your lunch Jaxx and damn about the rain.  I was wet right through by the time I got to my desk. Thanks for picking me up!!!

I've been blogging for quite a few years now.  I've met quite a few bloggers over this time and also made some great online friends too.  In November I'm catching up with Wanna, and maybe some of the other girls when she comes over to start her cruise.  It's going to be a hoot to finally meet her.  

I heard from Josh's mum last Thursday - the first time since she told him she never wanted to see him again.  She sounded very contrite and was keen to have a meeting with all of us as I suggested in a public place (so there's no screaming from her and we can just leave if she does).  I'm documenting all this.  

America's Cup.  It just has to be tomorrow.  We ARE going to win.
We should of had it on Saturday, but we will get there and we will have won it fair and square.

Go Emirates Team New Zealand - go you good thing!!!

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Thanks . . .

After writing my last post I decided it was time to pick myself up and move forward.

I took the day off today, had another bad night and didn't feel too great so thought a day at home by myself to rest wouldn't be a bad idea.  All this pollen around at the moment isn't doing my sinuses any good.

Things have been pretty tough since Mr T had his accident but there is also a lot of "other" things that have been adding to the equation as well.

At the end of the day everything will work itself out . . . then there will be more problems to deal with.  That's life.  

Josh has been to his the past two weekends.  Just the Friday and Saturday. First visit was okay, although he came home and didn't speak to us for a couple of hours.  He needed to unwind.  Then last weekend we get a phone call at 8.30 on the Saturday night - her pissed and demanding Mr T come and get his son.  He did and ended up having to listen to her drunken rant and when Josh got in the car told him she never wanted to see him again. WTF!!!!!  She is totally unbelieveable and she had better stay away from me.  She only has balls when she's drunk.

So Josh is pretty happy about that.  He doesn't want a bar of her.  That is sad.  I'd be gutted if my kids felt like that.

Anyhow a day at home has done wonders.  Although Mr T decided to play hookie too and came home around 1 to keep me company.  All good.

I'm now going to get dinner ready.   Lamb chops and lots of veges.  Just what I need.  Dinner has been a mixed bag lately and probably not eating properly.  

Thanks again for being there.  I'm feeling a lot better.


Wednesday, September 4, 2013

The last few weeks have been very hard for me . . .

Every day I get up is a battle.  There are so many things that have to be dealt with that I  feel like I'm drowning.  

It's emotional, personal, financial, health worry.

 It's on the home front, work front and the business.

I am tired and bone weary.

I've felt so down that all I've wanted to do was give up.  I look in the mirror and see an old woman.    I see a woman who has started to neglect herself.  I go home, do the basics and hibernate.  At the weekend I go home, do the basics and hibernate.  I'm not living properly - I'm trying to hide away from everything and hoping it will all go away. 

I love Fridays when I can forget.  I dread Mondays when I wonder if I'm going to make it through the week. 

So I'm battling.

I can't give up and I won't.  I've still got a wee bit of fight left.  

This Monday was a better start to the week and here we are at Wednesday and it's still getting better.  Let's pray this is the turning point that I've waited for - so far so good.

Hopefully the change of season, Spring, meaning new life, lives up to its name.    

I can help myself too.  

I can smile, even if I don't want too.  I can laugh, even if I don't want too.  I can go home shave my legs, do my eyebrows and put a rinse through my hair.  I can drag myself off to bed early tonight and hopefully fall asleep.  I can tell myself everything is going to be okay.  

And I can believe it.

Happy . . .

Life is great, things are going way better than expected ( I hope I don't bloody jinx it)  we are good, we are happy, we are relaxed....