Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Well I did it ..

And had a loss of 400 gms. I’ve decided to go back to weighing in kgs again. My weight was getting dangerously close to the number I don’t ever want to see. So even a 400 gm loss is going to start widening the gap again. Buggar it is so easy to become complacent. You can be going great guns for a few days and even weeks, feeling great then hello, there’s a little hurdle and ends up going downward from there.

I really, really want to be 15 – 20 kgs lighter by the time my next wedding anniversary rolls around. It sickens me to know that I’ve put on another 5 kgs since my wedding. While I really want to lose weight I’m not really putting in the effort. I just keep burying my head in the sand and thinking hey it’s going to happen without me doing anything.

So to lose 20 kgs in 10 months is not a huge ask. It’s only 2 kg a month. In fact even less as I’m not sure I want to lose that much. So for now I’m just going to work on my first 5 down. After weigh in that’s now only 4.6kg to go.

I really tried this morning to have some breakfast. I swear my body is not use to eating so early after I’ve woken up. I managed about 4 teaspoons of muesli. I would have been better off with just a banana. At least I’m not feeling hungry now which is good. I normally start feeling hungry just after 11. I made myself a wrap for lunch which I will have very shortly. So far so good. But there’s still a few good hours left in the day for me to stuff it up.

My challenge for myself tonight is to find one thing to do that will make me feel better about myself. Somehow I think it’s going to involve housework.

Right now I have to go out and buy myself some new stockings cause I just put a huge ladder in the ones I’m wearing.


Monday, May 25, 2009

Too chicken to weigh in

Too chicken to weigh in

My eating was a bit over the place at the weekend. I don’t know if I’m brave enough to weigh in, in the morning. I’ll try and be strong.

Everything is not quite “clicking” into place at the moment. Just need to hang in tho because it will come. Helps when you’ve stocked the fridge and the cupboards up with the good food. You make better choices. I think I’m battling the winter blues too. I so do not like being cold. I need sun and warmth.

Well my decks are all finished. Yes I got two not just one. They look lovely too. Make such a huge difference to the house. Now I just have to wait until summer to utilise them fully. Will post some photos when I’ve finally finished doing the weeding around the back.

My niece is doing nicely and is now in Hearty Towers. She’ll be there for the next three months. Her kidney’s weren’t working and was on dialysis every other day but she’s come right now. She’s had to learn to walk again but each day is an improvement and she’s just getting stronger and stronger. We’re going to Auckland this weekend to see her and to also have a break away from home. I’m looking forward to some shopping.

Naturally being a nanny-in-waiting I haven’t been able to resist buying a few baby things. I actually have been quite restrained. But I think I’m holding off until next month when we find out what baby is going to be. I have bought some nappies and I’m stoked I can still remember how to fold them. I mean it has been a long time since it was an everyday occurence for me.

In other news I got elected President of the Rotorua branch of the Association of Administrative Professionals of NZ. It wasn’t actually a position I was looking for but I will say I was overwhelmed by the support given to me that I decided to accept. It is an added responsibility but this really is a challenge that I know I’ll enjoy.

My studies are still in hand and I hope to complete my degree before the end of the year. I just need to have a good time management plan in place and I’ll be right.

So that’s pretty much me and what’s been happening.

If I’m brave I’ll be back tomorrow with a weigh in.


Monday, May 18, 2009

It's raining, it's pouring ....

I better not continue with that song, I might get in trouble.

Time’s flying by, things have just been so busy. I haven’t even noticed I haven’t been blogging. Now that’s not natural.

The weather has been total crap. It’s been so cold, wet, miserable, windy not to mention freak things like snowboarding at the beach and cars buried in hail!!!!! The last two Sundays I’ve been hibernating in my nice warm bed and in front of a fire watching dvd’s despite originally having every good intention of battling the elements and doing some work outside.

So it’s not surprising to jump on the scales and see them go up rather than down. Surprising – no, disappointing – yes. I mean I really DO know better. I know not to eat four pieces of toast with melted butter loaded with peanut butter, then sandwiches, cheese and crackers and finally fish and chips and battered mussels. And I also know that eating all that is going to make me have no or low energy, bloating which leads to having a “fat” day where I feel sorry for myself and wonder why it’s so hard to stay on track.

So yes I’m not surprised.

So this is what I’ve done/doing.

I’ve dyed my hair. Instantly made me feel brighter and younger. Tidied up myself. How you look on the outside reflects how you feel on the inside.

No more carb overload. Just remembering what I ate makes me feel heavier. Too much.

Going to change my weigh in days to Tuesdays. This will take me out of my comfort zone. I always like a few days to recover after the weekend. I won’t be able to recover in a day if I have a blow out in the weekend.

And most importantly I’m going to tell myself that yes while a bad day of eating will make me feel like crap and suffer from guilt feelings, a day of good eating will turn it around and make me feel great and remind me I CAN DO THIS.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Some extremely good news ....

I got a txt last night. Probably one of the best txt’s I’ve ever got. It was from Margi. It read

“Hay it Margi I dnt rember the first 3 weks bt mum and dad told me u and sue cum 2 c me. Just wna say thanks and goin way beter nw. Hope al is good wit u.”

Yes I broke down like a baby and bawled my eyes out again. We ended up having a txting conversation and from now on she’s going to txt me everyday.

No Mondayitis this week. Although I did sleep through the alarm. We didn’t get up till 7.45. But it wasn’t too much of a mad panic. And I did have a good nights sleep. Bonus.

Wasn’t it bloody cold this weekend. I am very pleased to say that on Saturday we did nothing. It was cold and grey and totally miserable. So we went back to bed and watched a dvd. It didn’t take much to convince Mr T to have a day off. So he had his shower, went and got some more dvd’s, I got up lit the fire, had my shower and got back into my nightie and we spent the day in front of the telly. It was like heaven. No interruptions. Pure bliss.

However, Sunday I did have to go to work. Boohoo. Damn GST and end of the month statements.

I finally got a battery for my scales. I haven’t got on them yet. To be honest I’m scared that the 1 that has been showing up will now turn to a 7. Gulp. No it won’t, Lee-Anne. Think positive. You haven’t been too naughty.

But I have been sick though. It’s been quite draining. The past week I’ve been waking up during the night all stuffed up and coughing. I feel like there’s a ton of weight sitting on my chest. It’s hard to breathe, I can’t take a deep breath and fill my lungs up. It’s been scaring the hell out of me. I have to sit up in bed and calm myself down as I can feel the panic slowly building up inside. At this stage there is no sign of infection.

So it brings me back to the obvious. I need to lose weight and I need to get fit. I need to watch my diet and I need to start exercising. I need energy. And there’s one way I definitely know how to get it. I’ve got to start moving. And I’ve got to start mixing it up. I’ve been quite inspired by the biggest loser show and I know from watching some of their training sessions you don’t have to have all the flashest gear from the gym. So I’m going to incorporate some of their ideas into some sort of an exercise schedule for myself which will target certain areas of my body. I want to feel great, have oodles of energy and tone up.

My carrot that is dangling in front of me: A second honeymoon back to Rarotonga and our little villa.

Some carrot aye.

Happy . . .

Life is great, things are going way better than expected ( I hope I don't bloody jinx it)  we are good, we are happy, we are relaxed....