Tuesday, December 13, 2016

How do you start blogging again when you've been away for so long . . .

What can I say . . . life's been complicated.

But - I'm ready for the next chapter to begin.

After such a long, long time I finally feel like I can breathe.

It feels like a new beginning and I'm really looking forward to it.

I'm very tired.  Exhausted.  My health hasn't been 100%.  I'm still struggling with menopause.  The hot flushes are intense.  It's zapped me of a lot of energy, sleepless nights and overall just totally feeling like crap from extra kg's and just being so unfit.

I'm tired of burying my head in the sand and I'm tired of making excuses for myself about not doing anything about it.

I'm pretty fed up and I'm making changes to get my sexy back.

My life is less complicated now.  I have less stress  and finally after nearly 30 years of parenting Mr T and I are childess!!!!!  While I have been looking forward to this day unfortunately I would have like it to be under better circumstances.

But yes, childless we are.  They will always come home along with the grandies which we love, but overall they all have their own lives now and it's time for us to adjust.

So a few weeks ago I started aqua jogging again.  I'm trying for 3 days a week at 45 mins in the pool.  I'm able to maintain an above average pace the whole time and the flushes don't bother me, lol.

I've started back on a low carb diet again - eliminating bread, potatoes etc.  

I'm also "gulp" drastically cutting back on my wine.  I have found a nice refreshing drink which is no carb, no sugar, no alcohol.  That's a huge help.

So yes, it's time for a new chapter to begin.  For me and Mr T.

Tonight we are going up to Auckland as we have Krystal's graduation from AUT tomorrow.  Wow, where have the years gone. 

Then on Thursday I get to meet my new baby grandson - that is if he hasn't arrived before then.  

So it's all happening.  Exciting times.  If there is anyone still out there I would love your support.  To keep me honest.

Ciao for now.


Thursday, July 28, 2016

Life's been tough . . . not going to lie

It's been really tough for me for a while now.

My mum got sick last year.  We were told we would lose her last September.  However she rallied and has been on a rollercoaster ever since.  She had split her oesophagus and her stomach was badly ulcerated.  Her only source of nutrients was through having nasal feeding tube put in.

My life  since September has consisted of many many trips after work over to Tauranga spending time with her at home in hospital.  In April she went in for day surgery to have a procedure that would enlarge her oesophagus and allow her to eat more solid foods.  However it had the opposite effect and she eventually stopped eating and slowly started fading away before our very eyes.  I spent many nights heading over to Tauranga after work, staying till late, driving home and getting up the next morning and doing it all again.  I spent a week staying with her in the hospital just the two of us and she started to perk up, only to crash the morning I had to go home.  After talking to the doctors we decided to bring her home.  It's what she wanted.  Six days later she passed away.

It's just been over three weeks now.  I'm still numb, I still work on automaton.  I still have to have that really big cry.  My body is still physically and emotionally tired and it's still hard for me to believe I can go home everynight and not have to rush over to Tauranga.

My mum was never a tiny lady, but when she passed away she was only 42 kgs.

I was only about 8 or 9 when I found out I was adopted and when I found out she was my mother at the age of 15 I was amazed because I have known her all my life.  My foster parents, who eventually adopted me, maintained contact with her all through the years.  They use to take me over to visit her and I also spent one school holiday week with her a year.  My mother has been part of my life ever since.

My two mums

Things are slowly starting to return to normal.  I've missed my grandbabies a lot.

I had a road trip with Miss Sophia a couple of weekends ago and it was so good for me.

There is a bit more to tell but I'll just leave it for now.


Tuesday, January 12, 2016

So far so good . . .

I'll feeling pretty good right now.

Last night I made the low carb cheeseburger for dinner, which I also had for lunch today as well.

This was only a bread plate size, I had another half one.  Surprisingly it was really filling and it didn't take long to prepare either which is always a bonus for me.  

Breakfast I had scrambled eggs and another burger for lunch.  I am not hungry at all.  Chicken for dinner tonight.

I'm hoping doing this challenge it's going to get me motivated in the kitchen again.  

At the moment we are child free and loving it.  The kid has now finished school.  He's enrolled up at the local polytech to do a pre construction trade diploma.  Hopefully after that we may be able to find him an apprenticeship somewhere.

Catch ya next time.



Monday, January 11, 2016

New Year, New Beginings, New Journey . . .

2015 nearly broke me.  That door is well and truly locked and bolted behind me.  It's past, but I learnt alot.  

Importantly, you can't please everybody all the time.  It doesn't matter how much you do, how much you try, for some people it just isn't good enough.  

2016 . . . You are my year.  I'm going to start putting myself first instead of last.  I'm not going to take on anyone else's problems.  I'm going to start looking after me.  Get healthy again because last year it suffered.  Clean eating, revive energy and regain sleep pattern - my priorities.

Next year I will be 55 and I want to be the best I can be.

Today I'm beginning my journey.  I've signed up to do the Diet Doctor's two week low-carb challenge (was suppose to start yesterday but I had my grandbabies and wasn't properly prepared), today is Day 1.   I'm looking forward to it.

Next week my new boss starts.  I cannot wait for him to start.  Things are going to be so different. On the 22 December the personal grievance claim between the Trust and the old boss was settled.  That means we can finally sort out my position  - and it's up to the new boss.  And he is great.  Fantastic.  It took all of two seconds for him to win me over.  I think work is going to become very exciting with some new blood and fresh ideas and a good team leader.  Watch this space.  

I'm starting a new journey to find the me within not the me everybody wants me to be.  To find the ole girl and make her laugh again.  The past few weeks I've seen a few glimpses of her, just need to coax her back out and not let her hide away again.

This year will be exciting for me.  I will document it as I go - OMG I own a selfie stick -  I really want this year to be more laughter and happiness.



My crazy grandbabies


Happy . . .

Life is great, things are going way better than expected ( I hope I don't bloody jinx it)  we are good, we are happy, we are relaxed....