Life . . . .

Life these last few months has been quite bluntly in the WTF bucket.

Never in a million years would of have thought that Mr T and I would be at each others throats.  Never thought there would be a day when we wouldn't want to be with each other.  In the end I started dreading going home.  It was hell.  It was a bloody nightmare.  But things are a lot better now.   I nearly did give up, but we talked and I knew how close he was too a break down.  He's been working nearly 7 days a week for the past 2 years.  He feels like he's always under pressure, stressed out and feels like he doesn't have anything to show for it.  So that's when we decided to start looking for a new boat. It's something that we both enjoy doing together and if it makes him happy then it's worth every penny.   

It's a much bigger boat than our other one.  This one has a cabin that we can sleep in, which will be nice.  We got her for a real bargain.  He picked it up the day after his birthday.  That just about covers his birthdays for life.  He is a happy man.

We are talking a lot now.  He realises now how mean he was.  He keeps remembering how he acted and it makes him feel bad (and so it should).  He knows he was mean and nasty and why did I stay with him.  I guess its marriage.  You don't give up when it gets tough.  You try to work it through.  I never believed it was really him that was saying all those things.

Two weeks after my last post my mum ended up in hospital.  She hadn't eaten in nearly two months, she was in chronic pain.  They found that she had torn her oesophagus and her stomach lining had disintegrated.  We were told to expect the worse and if there was anyone who wanted to see her then now was the time.  She wasn't expected to last the weekend.  She had pretty much given up herself. So I spent nights sleeping on the floor of her hospital room.  They put a feeding tube down her throat and a stent in her oesophagus.  She started getting a bit better, they tried her on mushy solids and it worked well for awhile and then she started throwing it up.  So after nearly six weeks in the hospital they decided to send her home even though she cannot eat.  With no nursing care in place.  So that means my sister had to learn how to hook her feeds up and to flush the line when its finished.  I think that's an awful responsibility to put on the family.  So I've been going over to Tauranga quite a bit lately.  In the beginning I was going over all weekend and every other night after work during the week.  I've slowly cut back now to once a week.  I was just getting so exhausted.  I was over on Wednesday doing a few chores for her and she had a sneezing fit  and her tube came out so we had to take her up to ER.  It was nearly midnight by the time I got her home and well after one in the morning before I finally got home - so I'm pretty shattered and looking forward to spending a weekend at home for a change.  

Nothing has been confirmed with my job yet.  Stuart finished up last month and we've been on our own since then as they have only just employed a new Manager but he won't take over until January now.  So my job has been extended until the end of March now which suits me a lot better.  I think its all working out in my favour and I like the person that they have employed.  He is such a likeable and personable person.  

I can't believe it's nearly Christmas.  Yet again everything is being left until the last minute.  Just like every year things will fall into place.  I'm looking forward to a quiet Christmas this year.  Mr T and I are going away and having our first trip in our boat.  I'm looking forward to a mindless break and not doing a bloody thing.  

Thanks to everyone who's been checking in on me.  You are treasures and I really appreciate it.

Ciao for now.