A litte bit of this and that . . .

We always celebrate birthdays at work with a Morning Tea. Because I had a "milestone" birthday I was presented with a few extra aids.

I had the 50th balloon tied to my chair and the big Happy 50th birthday banner at reception.

And this was pinned up on my noticeboard behind my desk for everyone to see.

I was given a Rubik cube to improve my mental ability, a glow in the dark mask and sticks for when I want to be seen and some sunglasses for when I don't. Some handcuffs for Mr T - to help keep me in line when we're out in public, and a medal ...

OMG some big girl undies eeewwwhhhh in case of emergencies. Recycled ones at that with a big hole in them.

And some sleep goggles and earplugs to help me sleep well and wake up refreshed and beautiful.

Very cool and very well done. I loved it all.

When I was shopping for a dress for the wedding I also found another one that I liked. I was tempted to buy it then but then thought no, I'll get it next pay as I'd already spent a bit. So payday comes and I go to buy it. I grabbed it off the rack,checked the size, checked the zipper (when I'd tried it on the zipper was stuffed) to make sure it worked properly then I noticed the belt loop was broken and put it back and grabbed the next one. When I was showing the girls I noticed it was a size 12 not a 14. So my dilemna should I go back and change it or should I be positive about it and say well I will fit into this before long. I decided I'd hang on to the size 12.

When I got home I tried it on and bloody hell it fitted. A little tight across the boobies but perfect everywhere else. Fabulous. A perfect reason to get dressed up and go somewhere flash. Woohoo.

My weight is still the same. Up sometimes but not lower. Still hovering around 75.5 kg. So close to my next goal.

These are the things I know.

• I haven't felt bloated for the past 4 months.



• I only need to eat twice a day.



• I eat until I feel full, which is half of what I normally would have eaten.



• I'm spending more time in the kitchen trying new dishes and having fun.



• I don't crave certain foods.



• I don't have cravings period.



• I don't miss bread, wheat, potatoes etc. and on a rare occasion I might have a small bit of carbs I don't feel guilty.



• I AM losing weight without counting points and watching what I eat. I am not on a diet.



• I have energy!



• I have not had an asthma episode or been out of breath that I need my inhaler.



• For the first time in my life I AM IN CONTROL. Honestly in the past being on diets I'll go well for a while and then boof, all downhill and starting over again. I have been doing this for nearly 4 months and not once have I faltered, denied myself anything because quite simply there's no need. I am completely satisfied.

So there you go, that's what I know now that I didn't know then.

On another more personal note I have disowned one of the kids this week. I normally don't blog about any of our family issues but this one hurt me so greatly, beyond utter disbelief, and completely out of the blue. "To be told I was a bitch and not his mother so he can talk to me anyway he likes". I wished I had of known that before I took out a personal loan to pay off his bills, provide him with a job for over a year, paid for his doctors bills and miscellaneous items and also paid off his pay advance bill recently of $340.00. At the moment he is in Whangarei and is spending weekends with Krystal and her mother. She is one of the poorest and sorriest excuses for a mother. I can only reason they're getting on the booze together and she's saying woo is me and because I was late sending Krystals birthday money through using it as an excuse to fuel their pitiful sad lives and talking about me. No reason to send me a txt to tell me I'm f*ckn sad. Where I responded by saying to learn some respect and remember who he was talking too. I might have been late putting in her birthday money but hey maybe it was because I WAS ALSO SORTING OUT HER SCHOOL FEES AND HER LOCKER because mother is too bloody useless. All I can say is they're bloody miserable and probably pissed off because hey I did actually get up off my arse and doing something with my life and becoming successful whilst they're mucking around on benefits and blaming everybody else for their problems. Get a fricken life. One of the things that really p**sses me off is when people tell I'm so lucky. Get real. There was no luck about it. I worked my arse off to get where I am today. Nobody gave me anything that I didn't work for and I didn't expect handouts either. The gutless little prick didn't have the guts to tell me in person but by txt cause he knew I would of bitch slapped him to kingdom come.

Anyway Mr T and the ex Mrs T no. 1 have been talking and he's been told under no circumstances is he to txt me and I want nothing more to do with him. He's lucky he's in Whangarei as Mr T is ropable and I'm sure would thump him right now.

Anyhow this week I've had an achey break heart, but then surprise I woke up one day with a smile on my face and realised I no longer had any reason to feel responsibility for him as "my" child. I feel a bit sorry for Mr T in someways but more so for Mrs T no. 1. She puts up with his abuse all the time.

My heart is now cold towards him and should I ever be tempted in the future or taken in by his woe is me act I am keeping the txts that he sent me to remind me not to be so guilable.

I wasn't going to say to much about it but now its done its off my chest and I needed to get it out..

Regarding my family history. I was adopted when I was a baby to my fostercare parents. My birth mother went on to marry and have two more children. My adopted parents, who I will now refer to as my parents had four older children. So I was the baby. My parents allowed my birth mother contact with me and gave her regular updates on me. They also use to take me to visit her at least three times a year and once I started school I use to spend at least one lot of school holidays with her every year. This why I feel I am blessed and one of the lucky ones. I ha(d)ve two mothers who both loved me and were prepared to share me. I hope this makes sense now. So in one family I'm the youngest of five and in the other I'm the oldest of three.

And I think I've waffled on enough so I'll say ciao for now. Well done if you got this far.

Ciao